


but it's alright (and you know we can't go back)

by theo_ography



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Best Friends, Frog Senior Year, The Frogs - Freeform, The Haus (Check Please!), minor NurseyDex, mostly just Dex angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23636857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theo_ography/pseuds/theo_ography
Summary: The keys are in his hand. At least he got that far. They feel so heavy, resting in his palm, to be as small as they are. They feel heavier now than when Bitty had handed them over, tears brimming and smile bittersweet. It’s almost like it didn’t feel real in that moment.It feels real now.Dex is captain. Dex has the keys. Dex has to unlock the Haus.
Relationships: Chris "Chowder" Chow & Derek "Nursey" Nurse & William "Dex" Poindexter, Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter
Comments: 10
Kudos: 145





	but it's alright (and you know we can't go back)

It’s not that the Haus is different.

No. It’s exactly the way they left it. The summer sun glints through green grass, long and not yet trampled. The faded blue of the siding is just as old and weathered as it was in April, and the boards under his feet still creak as he climbs the porch steps.

It’s not the Haus that’s different.

Maybe it’s him.

The keys in his pocket feel heavy, resting against his thigh. Dex glances down at the lock in front of him. It’s scraped and scratched from generations of drunk hockey players trying to find the hole. Dex smirks to himself at that, and something in the back of his mind starts pecking at him to replace the lock -- god knows how long its been there, and really the only reason no one has broken into the Haus is because they know there’s nothing in here worth stealing, but it’s better to be safe than sorry, and--

Dex shakes his head. There’ll be time to think about that stuff later. Right now, he’s gotta focus on how the hell he’s supposed to put a key in a lock and turn it. Because right now, that feels… monumental.

He glances up at the frame of the door. How many times has he walked through it without even thinking about how much this Haus, this home, has come to mean to him? How many times did he watch Holster burst into the Haus singing show tunes, or yelling about coral reefs? How many times has he carried Bitty’s groceries through the doorway? How many times has he caught Nursey after he tripped over the step?

Tiny, insignificant moments. All come and gone. Things he’ll never experience again.

Well, he’ll probably spend the next year catching Nursey from tripping over that doorstep. That’s almost a guarantee. Some things never change.

Dex sighs.

But a lot of things do change. And now, he’s captain. It’s his responsibility to unlock the door and open the windows to let out the musty air, to run the taps and clear the pipes. To bake the first pie of the year.

His breath hitches at the last thought.

A pie. In the kitchen. Without Bitty.

He… He doesn’t know if he can do this.

“OH CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN!”

Dex jumps, whirling on the spot, to find Nursey at the end of the drive.

He’s smiling, wide and cheeky, arms crossed and leaning against the side of his fancy, rich boy car. There’s a suitcase standing next to him, a couple boxes at his feet. He looks as chill as Dex has ever seen him. Some of the tension leaves Dex’s shoulders as he descends the porch steps again, a bitten-back smile toying at the corners of his mouth. Nursey’s own grin never wavers, eyes twinkling as Dex approaches.

“How long you been standin’ there?”

“Long enough. Didn’t wanna interrupt your bonding moment with the Haus, but you were starting to look a lil constipated.”

“Fuck you, man.”

Nursey’s smile grows wider, and he pushes off his car to drag Dex into a bear hug. It’s warm, familiar. Nursey’s arms are solid and strong around him. He’s spent the last three years growing accustomed to knowing where Nursey is at all times -- on and off the ice -- and the sensation of a puzzle piece slotting into place seems to click inside his chest.

“Missed you, Poindexter.”

Dex squeezes his arms around Nursey’s trim waist, burying his face in the space between his neck and shoulder. “Yeah.”

They stand like that for a minute, swaying a little with the breeze. It’s the beginning of the year. There’ll be time for arguing later. For now, it’s nice to have missed Nursey.

 _Some things change for the better_ , he thinks.

“You ready?”

Nursey pulls away from him then, choosing instead to grip his shoulder. His eyes, green and bright in the sunlight, are earnest. There’s a sprinkling of freckles on his nose and cheeks, something Dex has never really noticed before. There’s a lot of things Dex noticed himself noticing about Nursey this summer, through video calls and snapchats.

He’s trying not to think about it.

“Not really.”

“You’ve got this, dude. Whether you guys knew it or not, Bitty spent the last three years grooming you for it.”

Dex huffs out a laugh through his nose. “Shut up.”

Nursey grins again, and shoves him lightly. “You’re a certified, Bittle-approved homemaker now.”

Dex punches him in the arm.

“Guys, no fighting!!! The year hasn’t even started yet!!”

They both turn at the same time to see a rental car pulling in across the street, a familiar form leaning so far out the passenger side window he’s in danger of falling out.

Nursey lets go of Dex to cup his hands around his mouth, voice booming. “FRIENDS AND FOE OF FRAT ROW, THE MAN HIMSELF, OUR NUT IN THE NET, CHRIS CHOW HAS ARRIVED!”

“GUYS!!!”

“Incoming…” Dex murmurs, and Nursey’s muffled laugh makes something warm bloom inside him.

Chowder clambers out of the car, and Nursey meets Dex’s eyes knowingly as they brace themselves for impact. He throws all five feet and eleven inches of himself at the two of them, and before Dex can blink, they’re Frog piling on the front lawn.

“Jesus, C, you pack on some muscle this summer?”

“Dude, I do not remember you being this heavy.”

Dex has an elbow in his gut and his nose in someone’s armpit (he’s not sure whose, at this point) but he’s laughing all the same.

Chowder squeezes them both tight, and he can tell that’s Chowder because no one else hugs quite as hard he does. “I missed you guys so much!! Did you have a good summer??”

Nursey snorts from somewhere to his left. “Bro, we literally FaceTimed last night. And every other day. You know every detail of our summer.”

“I wanna hear about it in person!”

“Okay,” Dex grunts, “Chowder, you gotta get off me man, you’re gonna rupture my spleen or something.”

“Oh, sorry!”

They detangle themselves (it was Chowder’s armpit) and get to their feet, Chowder hanging onto their wrists as he excitedly recounts the flight from California. Apparently he and Farmer got seats with leg room, so he could stretch out, and he got a window seat so he could watch the clouds.

“The sky was so clear, and I’m pretty sure I saw a cloud that looked like a shark. It was ’swawesome!”

“Chris!” Farmer calls out, walking over from the car with Chowder’s suitcase and a couple extra bags hanging off her arm. “I gotta go unload, are you all good here?”

“Yeah!” Chowder turns to his girlfriend with a radiant smile, the one that’s just for her. Dex glances at Nursey, who winks. “Thanks for bringing my stuff over, you’re amazing. Do you need help with yours?”

“Nah I’m alright, I’ve got the girls to help me. You guys have some catching up to do.” Farmer replies, placing Chowder’s belongings on the sidewalk. She glances over Chowder’s shoulder. “Hey Will, Derek.”

“Hey Kait, good summer?” Dex asks.

“Oh you know how it is, never a dull moment with this one.” She says with a sly smile at Chowder.

Chowder goes pink. “Babe!”

Nursey grins. “Chill.”

“I’ll swing by later, yeah?” She rises on her toes just a bit to kiss Chowder on the cheek, then starts heading back to her car. She’s about halfway across the street when she turns to walk backwards, and points at Dex. “I expect several pies on the table when I come back!”

Dex’s stomach twists at the thought.

Dex leans down and hefts a couple boxes under his arm as Nursey picks up his suitcase. His own stuff is still sitting on the porch. Chowder grabs his belongings as well.

Nursey clicks his tongue. “So, I’m guessing the Perfect Proposal didn’t happen.”

Chowder groans, pressing his face into his hands. “No…”

“LOL.”

The three of them start walking towards the Haus, side by side, Chowder gesturing a little wildly with his carry-on bag.

“I was gonna! But one night we were at dinner with her mom, and she starts talking about grad school and jobs and moving to New York--”

“Chill!”

“--and like, being a doctor and stuff. And I just… I dunno, I don’t want to get in the way of her dreams just because _I_ wanna marry her, y’know?”

“Dude, tell me right now that you wouldn’t follow that girl to the ends of the earth and I’ll eat my fuckin’ snapback.”

“I would! But I don’t want her to think she’s getting in the way of my dreams by following her dreams and like, not following them? I don’t want to hold her back.”

“C, you think that if Farmer thought you were holding her back she would be with you in the first place? She’s not the kind of girl to change herself for a guy.”

“Of course she’s not! But I just don’t want to risk that, she’s so amazing, and I love her, and I want to be with her forever but I also want her to accomplish amazing things and--... Dex...?”

Dex blinks. He realizes he’s been standing in front of the Haus again, staring at it. He still hasn’t unlocked the door, and Nursey and Chowder are waiting.

The keys are in his hand. At least he got that far. They feel so heavy, resting in his palm, to be as small as they are. They feel heavier now than when Bitty had handed them over, tears brimming and smile bittersweet. It’s almost like it didn’t feel real in that moment.

It feels real now.

Dex is captain. Dex has the keys. Dex has to unlock the Haus.

“Hey…” A hand lands gently on his shoulder, and he knows it’s Nursey. “You good?”

“Yeah.” Dex clears his throat. “Uh. Just, uh… y’know.”

“Yeah.”

Sometimes Dex wishes that he was a little more eloquent. That he wasn’t so emotionally stunted -- he’s well-aware of that now. It would be so much easier if he could just say how he’s feeling without his throat clogging up. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, it’s mostly that he just doesn’t know how.

The thing is though, it seems that three years of learning each other’s buttons and when to push them means that Nursey, more often than not, can figure out exactly what he’s trying to say without the thoughts even fully forming in his mind. It’s strange, having someone just... get him, like that. Especially someone he thought he would never get along with, let alone understand.

But Nursey squeezes his shoulder, and says “yeah…” again, a little more quietly, and Dex knows that Nursey _knows_.

That’s enough for him.

“It’s weird.”

“It’s really weird.”

“It’s super fuckin’ weird.” Chowder chimes in, and Dex has to smile at that.

Nursey chuckles, hip-checking Chowder behind Dex. He can feel Chowder standing at his elbow now, and then a sharp chin resting on his other shoulder.

“We’re in this with you, y’know.” Nursey murmurs.

“Got your back.” Chowder adds, nodding, his chin jutting against the bone of Dex’s shoulder in a way that’s oddly comforting.

Dex swallows hard around the lump in his throat, toying with the keys in his hand. He knows he has to get this over with at some point. At least now he doesn't have to do it alone. The handle is warm in his palm from the summer air, the metal worn smooth. He jimmies the key into the lock, stiff with lack of use, and pulls the door towards himself a little as he turns it.

And all of a sudden with a soft ‘click’, the Haus is open.

It’s strange how such a small thing had felt like such a Herculean effort, and in half a second, like it had never happened at all. He pushes the door. It swings aside with a familiar creak.

There’s a beat of silence while they all stare into the front hall, dark and dusty.

“Gonna oil that thing after we’re all moved in, aren’t ya?” Nursey chirps with a smile in his voice, and Dex lets out a snort, and then he’s laughing for real.

Chowder and Nursey join in, their laughter loud and brilliant and clear, and now they’re hugging on the doorstep like a couple of morons.

Dex feels a weight start to ease from his shoulders. Not all the way, it’s not gone entirely. It’s more like that feeling when someone helps you carry something you’ve been trying to lift on your own. Suddenly, the burden doesn’t feel quite as heavy as it once did.

“I love this stupid team…” Dex murmurs, and Nursey is laughing in his ear, and Chowder is squeezing him and things feel… better.

Moving in after that goes as it usually does. Chowder starts setting up his new Sharks memorabilia in his room, and Nursey blasts some hipster shit from his expensive speakers that Dex has actually come to appreciate. Not that he’d admit that outloud. It’s mostly in comparison to Louis’ music.

It doesn’t take him that long to unpack his clothes and books and laptop. He’s got a system in his bungalow, a place for everything, so things go as smoothly as they should. He goes back upstairs and yells up to Chowder and Nursey, asking if they want something to drink. They both call out “Yes Mom!” as he expected they would.

They don’t have much in the kitchen in terms of food, but Dex had picked up water and beer on his way to campus, so he goes and grabs that from his truck. The guys can have water for now, the beer would take some time to chill anyway.

Hands on his hips, a pose that feels strangely natural in this room, Dex glances around the kitchen.

He supposes it’s his kitchen now.

The blue curtains Bitty had gotten from his aunt are still hanging, pulled back from the window to let in the sunlight. The counters are a little dusty from a few months without use -- he’d have to spend some time cleaning before baking anything in here. Still, not the worst he’s ever seen it. It’s just that he’s never seen this kitchen before Bitty’s had a crack at it.

It’s odd.

With a deep breath, he pulls out the notepad he keeps in his back pocket, grabs a pencil that got left behind on the kitchen table, and starts making a list. The student kitchens might not be open yet, so they’d need actual groceries tomorrow, but he figures he’ll pick up some essentials tonight. Fruit, eggs, cereal. The usual needs for a pie-baking hockey team.

The front door opens with a slam, and Dex smiles and waves as Whiskey and Tango stumble into the Haus with a giant mattress, Ford directing them up the stairs with incredible patience. He watches from the doorway, not wanting to get in the way, and promises pie within the next few hours.

Having those three living in the Haus was going to be… interesting, to say the least.

Turning back to the kitchen, he lets out a soft sigh.

Dex heads for the baking cupboard first, as Bitty had designated four years ago, to take stock of what they would need to pick up or replace. The baking soda, salt, and various spices would probably be fine, but he’d need to pick up a big bag of flour for when the freshmen showed up. Opening the door, he begins to scan over its contents, but before he can really take it in, he sees a full, unopened bag of flour sitting front and centre.

He frowns. That’s weird. He doesn’t remember buying a new one after Bitty left, and god knows the guy would’ve used up the last of it on that batch of moving-day cookies he’d made to send off with everybody.

Dex takes the bag out of the cupboard, and-- yep, brand new. Sealed and everything. Turning it over in his hands, his fingers disturb a little yellow sticky note attached to the side, which falls to the floor. He bends to pick it up, and his breath hitches when he sees familiar handwriting.

_‘Got your back <3 -B’_

Dex smiles, a lump rising in his throat again. This time, though, a lightness follows and blooms in his chest. Pulling his phone out, hands a little shaky, he sends a quick text.

_‘Just moved back into the Haus. Thanks Bitty.’_

He gets a _‘Anytime. Really <3’_ back within seconds, and chokes on a bittersweet laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

He turns to find Nursey leaning against the doorframe. He’s watching him with a raised eyebrow, arms crossed, the sweatpants he’s changed into hanging low on his hips. He looks… good. Dex lifts up the bag of flour and the sticky note, which Nursey takes from him to read. A small smile forms on his lips, and when he looks at Dex it’s with a gaze that takes his breath away.

“Some things never change, huh?” He murmurs, eyes twinkling.

“Yeah,” Dex says softly, “some things.”


End file.
